1. |
Waiting
04:42
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are we careening toward disaster?
i can't tell if we are
you seem to want to get it faster
you seem to want to break my heart
your silence is indifference
so let's just get this over with
because we both know
the longer that i let it go
the harder it will be to forget
how you love me
(it feels like waiting)
how you love me
(it feels like waiting for an end)
how you love me
(it feels like waiting)
how you love me
(it feels like waiting to be left)
are we headed for disaster?
is there any other way?
i'm not looking for an answer
i just want for you to stay.
this is what comes next
the peace i find in nothingness
in nothingness
(just wait until there's nothing left)
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2. |
Transmission
04:41
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carry me up in the soundwaves
it's a calculus of our lost days
carry me up to the furthest place
where our words still ring out
to where they radiate
this time
we won't be lost in transmission
this time
we won't bend to the distance
this time
this time
carry me up in the frequency
love lies in the length
not velocity
carry me up through the dark
find synchronicity
in the beat of our hearts
this time
we won't be lost in transmission
this time
we won't bend to the distance
this time
this time
everything
we've ever said
is still out there
it's endless
endless
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3. |
Write it Down
05:11
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i didn’t know you then
running through fields choked with weeds
all bare feet and skinned knees
carried with the current of muddy creeks
it’s been a long time since our bodies weren’t a consequence
of all the places we have been
a million roads led to this end
if i write it down
i won’t forget about
the mercy found in circumstance
in your wide eyes and trembling hands
if i write it down
(i cannot hide it from myself)
if i write it down
i will feel it forever
you didn’t know me then
i was always loud but secretive
secreting away the things i kept
maps and books and skeletons
of birds that dropped from flight
if given half a chance i might’ve done the same
were it not for the promise of something worth the wait
if there are strings at the heart of everything
weaving and diverging
were it true
then all the choices i’ve ever made
led me right here to you
to you
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4. |
Nights
04:23
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i will twist my hair in knots and think a thousand awful thoughts
that all compete and accumulate
to the worst case
with terrifying precision
i undermine all my decisions
how am i still living this way at my age?
will you still love me even when i’m not okay?
the nights are long and i’m so often afraid
will you still love me even if i cannot change?
will you still be here
when i’m awake?
i’ll lie awake until i can’t take it
all these flaws, all my own making
all i should have said
while scared of a silhouette
an outline in a hallway, it never ends
a hand on my mouth in the house that i grew up in
i still dream of the waiting, the impending violence
the i love yous, the i’m sorrys
that broke the silence
hey now
hey now
i want to dream it’s over
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5. |
Surrender
04:44
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let me draw this line
let me draw a map
of the retreat
and the attack
my body, our battleground
your love was a trap
let me draw this line
lay down your arms
i never meant to start this war
but some things
are worth fighting for
surrender, forever
surrender to me
(there is no forgiveness
there is no white flag
some things you take
you can’t take back)
let me draw this out
the armistice
i don’t want it to to end like this
where i can’t remember what you did
there is no peace in nothingness
let me rain it down
your cities bombed
i can’t reckon with what i’ve lost
but some things
you fight at any cost
don’t reach for me
down below
the trenches you stormed long ago
your voice rings out so hollow
there’s nowhere left for you to go
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6. |
Intimacy Issues
02:45
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if all it takes is loving you twice
before you're gone
to write me a song
you've got it all wrong
i thought there was more to music than that
i thought there was more to you than that
put your record on
still got it wrong
i've got intimacy issues
because of you
if i had known you were going to run
i wouldn't have wasted my time
writing you a song
still got it wrong
i've got intimacy issues
because of you
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7. |
Salt City
05:12
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a place like this should be barren
not pocked with strip malls and discount stores
their hanging signs catch the bitter wind and sway
icicles like knives, always lie in wait
like us, their grip is so precarious
the faintest breeze can come and carry us
scatter me like so much dust
you can’t go home again if it never was one
we are borne of salt and dirt and rust
the ravages of opiates
a blanket of snow to cover us
leave us cold (so cold)
to the touch
we were kids there until it narrowed us down
some claimed by the river that runs through town
or in flag draped coffins lowered into the ground
others in rec rooms where the shots rang out
that girl in a bedroom of a modular house
where even concrete block can’t muffle the sound
oh, we all know the brother and how she was found
you can’t go home again if they cut you out
our fathers hiss like machines
the breaking bones of our industries
how quick to fall to our knees
and implode like shuttered factories
we implode and turn to dust
you can’t go
you can’t go home
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8. |
Echoes
05:51
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i knew that place best in the dark
from sleepless nights spent at your side yet apart
the way the streetlight filtered through the window shades
i could trace it with my fingers across your shoulder blades
if only i could find a way to reach out
if only i could find a way to speak
how did we
how did we become echoes of ourselves?
we built this house before i burned it down
and now i’m struck silent, just listening for the sound
of words in empty rooms
ringing out and out and out and out
i turned toward the wall
you ask if i ever loved you at all
i did until i loved the idea of you more
and the narrative we wrote to make it feel like we’re still living
was built on a foundation no longer so forgiving
if only i could find a way to reach out
but i can only find a way to leave
this is not what i wanted
but now this house is haunted
(echoes of the words that i have spoken and all the vows that i have broken)
this is not what i wanted
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the nervous girls Tampa, Florida
The Nervous Girls were a Tampa-based band with a sound best described as angry post-punk shoegaze.
anne - guitar & vocals
amo - guitar & vocals
amanda - bass & vocals
morgan - drums
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